Choices…Every so often one hears, “I didn’t have a choice!” This is especially the case when something negative has transpired. And, usually, the person held responsible for the sorry state of affairs is justifying the course of action that they chose to react to a certain situation.
“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141)
When we review the course of action we chose to take at the decisive moment, we sometimes find that we could have chosen to react in a better way. However, that option usually surfaces after the fact when it is too late to alter events that have already happened!
The lesson that must be taken away from the experience is what is important – we must learn from what we did! Hindsight is always six by six and when we yoke its wisdom to introspection we cannot but be right. One takeaway could be that next time we can choose to deal with the worst situations in a positive way as long as we have the right attitude and take an unbiased stance. It does help not to have a hidden agenda and when you have anything to gain; forget about it! Remember what I said about your stand being unbiased?!
This will only work as long as you yourself are above-board. As long as you have the moral high ground — never let anybody tell you that you do not have a choice.
Because, as long as you keep an open mind, as long as you keep on learning, you will always have a choice. Choose to act; do not merely react to a situation.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”
~ Victor Frankl
What do we do when a person in power tells you that there is no choice? What does one do when the decisions of other people affect us in a negative way? How do we deal with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? How do we deal with disappointment?
One must start with introspection to try to find out whether it is our fault. We must ascertain exactly what it is that we could have done better so that the desired end could have been achieved.
However, when you find that it really was not your fault, then, usually, you discover that there is a set of facts that you are not privy to. Here I am presuming that there is no hidden reason or even a hidden agenda. Just because you are not privy to the facts does not mean that we will remain unaffected by a decision that was made by those who are not accountable to us but whose actions have the ability to impact upon our world.
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
Every day is not sunny and ever so often in our lives we will have days that bring us rain clouds and thunder storms. We must prepare for bad days even as we must hope for days when all goes according to our expectations. Life is wonderful when all our plans come to fruition but what if they fail? There is many a slip between the cup and the lip. But in every life there must come trouble and how we face tough times is a direct reflection of our real worth.
It is precisely when we find ourselves on the ground that we must rise up yet again and get back into the game.
Never Give in!